How to request a meeting to get one scheduled

Getting the meeting is something that I struggled with for many years until I started using the following method and I think you’ll find it equally effective.

The central idea is that you want to control the invitation process to the extent you can, so no matter who is senior to whom, you should always do the inviting. It makes no sense to get caught up in who is more important or anything like that if your goal is to get a meeting scheduled.

Three Options

When suggesting a meeting, suggest three different date/time options, reserve them in your calendar until you hear back from the other person, and commit to whichever date/time the other person chooses.

The date/times should be spread out over a reasonable period of time depending on the time-sensitivity of the meeting — a few hours, a few days, or even a few weeks — and should include both a morning and an afternoon option (or an explanation of why your meeting schedule doesn’t allow for one or the other).

Suggesting three times dramatically increases the odds of getting a meeting for a few reasons.

First, you’ve removed the biggest psychological hurdle for the other person — figuring out the date/times that work , which no one really likes to do— which doesn’t sound like a big deal, but actually is. There is nothing for the other person to do to determine whether they are available other than checking their calendar. Responding to your meeting request becomes remarkably easier.

Second, you’ve reframed the decision from should I meet you to when should I meet you. Obviously, not everyone will make that mental shift but an overwhelming majority will. Again, another subtle psychological tactic that is interesting to watch succeed in practice.

Third, unless they travel a lot or you run into bad scheduling luck, the other person will almost always be available for one of your suggested times. They will usually not think about a preferred time in the context of their entire calendar, they will only think about which of the three options you’ve presented works best for them in the context of your meeting request. A narrower mental focus makes it easier to make a decision.

And fourth, most people will go to great lengths to actually select one of the date/times you’ve suggested, and when none of your suggested times work, they are far more likely to respond with alternatives. Most people just have a natural tendency to want to accommodate others.

Sample Email Template

Here’s what my email requesting a meeting often looks like. I don’t think it ever has to be much more complicated than this -

TO: Jim

SUBJECT: Follow-up to yesterday and getting together

Jim-

To follow up to our conversation yesterday at the conference, let’s schedule a time sometime over the next week or so to discuss things in greater detail.

How about one of these dates/times?

- 11:00am ET, Thur, 2/14

- 2:00pm ET, Mon, 2/18

- 12:00pm (lunch) ET, Wed, 2/20

Please suggest another time if none of these work … Let me know … Looking forward to it. Thanks.

Calendly, et al.

Calendly has become a very popular tool for people to use and I often get a response from people asking me to select a time from their calendar using this tool. As you know realize, this doesn’t actually make it any easier for the recipient even if it’s a highly efficient process. Maybe I’m in the minority here, but I think the odds of success using a tool like this are actually lower than the method I’ve suggested using here but I have no data to support it.

Conclusion

What’s really going on here? This is really a “presumptive close” where you’re substituting one decision for another: instead of presenting the “do you want to meet with me or not?” decision you are presenting the “when do you want to meet with me?” decision. You are presuming there will be a meeting and the only real decision is when.

I’ve been using this method for some time now and it’s embarrassingly effective — I can’t remember the last time someone didn’t select one of the times I suggested or responded with a new one — and highly efficient — after one back-and-forth, the appointment is usually on the calendar.

Try it and let me know how it works for you or if you have any suggestions to make this tactic even better.